Day 29

Originally written for writing you grief course done by Refuge in grief in October 2022. Day 29 of 30

Day 29

I write this story because my father lived with bipolar disorder that he wasn’t engaging in treatment for, I write this story because he died by suicide. This isn’t a story I ever imagined having to  write this isn’t a story any suicide loss survivor wants to write it is not a story at all for people who have lost a loved a one to suicide it is a heartbreaking gut punching reality. Some suicide loss survivors do not openly talk about this  reality at all out of fear of the stigma and rejection, I myself have been stigmatized and rejected by people I mistakenly believed would always be there for me. One of these people saying it is important to remain positive in every situation. Not understanding the pain and trauma attached to suicide. It is even worse that this person that didn’t even want to try to understand the reality and pain that comes with a suicide loss, Mamy people would rather not hear about this reality. The word suicide makes people very uncomfortable. 

Suicide is a painful reality for millions of us, this is the reason I write the story no one wants to write. I share my pain so that other suicide loss survivors know that they are not alone on this difficult and painful journey. I share this reality to reduce the stigma attached to suicide. I share my pain as a way to honor my father even though it can be difficult to do so.